In the classic film “Tombstome,” Wyatt Earp asks why Ringo behaves the way he does. Doc Holliday responds, “A man like Ringo had a great empty hole right through the middle of him. He can never kill enough, steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.” Ringo was a sociopath.
A sociopath flatters the victim, speaks highly of himself, tries to appear kind and helpful, is seductive, lies, convinces others to take out-of-character risks, and blames, intimidates, and betrays others. They LOVE nice people, especially credulous ones.
It is best to stay away from sociopaths, but sometimes it is not possible. In her book, Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door, Martha Stout suggests these steps.
Avoid revealing your emotions, because the sociopath likes to see you suffer. They like to play with their victims like a cat tormenting a mouse.- Decide if you can leave. This will determine your next steps.
- In any case, keep detailed and careful records of the sociopath’s behaviors. Even if you must stay, it will be cathartic to write down these incidents. It’s best to write longhand, including the time and place that it occurred, who was involved, and the date and time that you are writing.
- If the person is at your workplace and you can manage the risk of leaving, you may be able to confront the issue with upper management. Stout recommends presenting to upper management (not Human Resources nor the sociopath’s immediate supervisor) the financial costs of retaining the sociopath.
Do not present as a victim. Use terms like “Lies, undercuts, insults, tricks, manipulates, steals,” etc. If upper management pursues the situation, you may have been successful. If they do not communicate with you about the situation again, that may be a signal for you to leave. - Legal action may be an option, depending on your situation. Read Stout’s books for more information.
Related Articles: Sociopath Next Door, Part 1 and Part 2
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