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Are you Actively Listening?

Active listening is an effective technique for hearing one another. It feels good to be heard.

Active ListeningIn conversation with someone, paraphrase  what you’ve heard. If you watch carefully, the person who was speaking may shift slightly when you get it right. That is a clear indication that they have been validated.

If they grimace slightly or indicate in any way that your paraphrase isn’t quite right, ask, “Did I get it right?” If you didn’t, ask them to repeat it. Then try again.

Keep the communications short enough so you can paraphrase what was said. If they’re saying too much for you to accurately paraphrase their words, hold up a hand to indicate that you’ d like them to stop talking.

Remember, in active listening, it’s not about agreeing, it’s about listening. Try it. I think both you and the person you’re conversing with will like it.

Active Listening Can Deepen Your Relationship

Listen to my video above for more tips on how to do active listening in your conversations. This is a technique that can truly deepen your relationship with friends, co-workers, significant others and more.

Active listening words

For more tips on living, check out my blog.

Want to talk? Make an appointment with me.

Please note, this article first appeared in the West Plaza Neighborhood Association Newsletter, March-April 2018 issue on page 7.


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Author: Martha Childers

Martha Childers, EdS, LPC is a multicultural psychotherapist specializing in couples, grief and caregiver stress. Martha is a licensed professional counselor in Missouri and Kansas. She received her masters and education specialist degrees in counseling psychology from the University of Missouri – Kansas City. She practiced Zen through a variety of Japanese traditional arts for 3-1/2 years. Since that time, mindfulness has been an integral part of her life. Her interest in human nature, beliefs, and life styles led her to become a counselor.

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