Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door
In Martha Stout’s Outsmarting the Sociopath Next Door, she describes in detail the strategies used by sociopaths to manipulate nice people when their callous and sometimes criminal behavior is challenged.
- First will be “protestations of innocence,” which includes claims that the sociopath would never do something like that.
- When that doesn’t work, next comes “the pity play.” This play exploits a normal person’s empathy. (Sociopaths do not feel empathy.)
- At this stage, the sociopath will claim that he feels hurt, that he’s being victimized, that he’s very sorry for what happened, or that he’s physically ill.
- When that doesn’t work, the third stage is a display of rage that includes threats to harm the accuser.
All of these steps are stimulating and exciting for the sociopath. The sociopath wants you to be upset. It’s part of his game of toying with you.
Since the sociopath enjoys stirring up emotions in others, an effective defensive approach is to present the facts without emotion. By removing the emotion from your response, you are avoiding giving him what he wants. As a result, he is more likely to lose interest in you.
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